(Pre) Feature Tuesday: The Great Kate Wait

We wait as the heir to the throne takes his or her time to be born! Picture courtesy of www.mamamia.com.au

We wait as the heir to the throne takes his/her time to come! Picture credit http://www.mamamia.com.au

By John McCarthy

The birth of a baby is a wondrous time for a family; however, when the child is royalty and the family is the entirety of a nation, the hubbub is vastly multiplied.

Anticipation has finally reached an all-time high and the media’s speculation, rumours , and the hunts for the ever evasive ‘baby bump’, all are at an end, the ‘Great Kate Wait’ is nearly over.

The Duchess of Cambridge, who is thought to be a week past her due date, was this morning admitted to St Mary’s Hospital in London through a side entrance, to finally birth the royal tot. “Things are progressing as normal,” said a spokesman.

Hospital staff said Kate is very well, the child, whose sex is unknown, will be third in line to the throne, the Duchess will have a natural birth at the hospital’s private Lindo wing.

Royal fans (or fan-atic-s) have swarmed the capital, with both, Buckingham and the St Mary’s Hospital, surrounded by waves of well-wishers –and hundreds of members of the media- hoping to catch a glimpse of the newborn. The child’s birth will be formally posted on the iron rails of Buckingham Palace. The message will confirm the sex of the baby.

It is widely known that the prince wants a daughter and the duchess wants a son, furthermore,  the name of the child will likely set a trend which will be emulated by a whole new generation of children.

The average labour time for a first-time mother is around twelve hours so doctors say the royal family could see their newest member appear around midnight.

Unsettlingly creepy images of what the child will look like if it was a boy or a girl are emerging all over the internet. Sites such as MorphThing.com use computer technology to create portraits of the newborn by merging the features of the parents, but the vastly differing images fail to categorise recessive features in the genes and are therefore guess work, at best. (Hyperlink this address… http://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/royal-baby-older-article-1.1405453)

It appears everyone is out of the loop,  the Prince of Wales revealed to Sky News that he knows “absolutely nothing” about the royal baby.

The ‘Great Kate Wait’ furore has also swept the gambling industry with bets being taken on the child’s name, when it will be born, the colour of its hair who will emerge from the hospital holding it first. William Hill said it had already taken £100,000 in due date bets

On Wednesday, the Queen confirmed the child was late to a ten-year-old school child on a trip to Cumbria: “I would very much like it to arrive because I’m going on holiday soon… I wish it would hurry up…”

Let’s hope the child does hurry up so the Queen can get away on that holiday, and finally as Piers Morgan tweeted “Keep Calm…and Carry On. #Kate #Labour”.


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